#something somethint human experience

[noct]

"whats in my bag" type of posts are my favorite always idfk why but they just fill me with glee. i adore them.

[stargirlfics]

Amalia, I’m so sad. I’m 25 and I feel like I’m never going to be in love. I feel so worthless and disgusting - I’m not worthy of friendship, let alone love. I read the positive affirmations and try to believe it but it’s so hard. I just want to give up :(

I’m so sorry these feelings are eating you at you my love 💕

I struggle with the exact same feelings as well and I know it’s hard to really believe that you’re deserving and worthy and aren’t all these terrible things you’re calling yourself but I want to remind you that those feelings of worthlessness and disgust you feel about yourself aren’t facts, they’re how you view yourself but not a reflection of who you actually are

The truth is that just simply by being born, by existing in this world that does so much to tear us down, you’re already deserving of love and friendship and affection and do you know why? Because you need those things and your needs as a human being to thrive will always trump what you don’t think you deserve or what you think you need to do and be to deserve those things

Love and friendship are at the very center of what being a living, breathing human being is about, you need those whether you feel you deserve them or not and I know it feels like you’re never going to find love but another truth whether we can see it or not is that love and the ability and capability to love and be loved is something we are always doing as people

Love and friendship is inevitable and unavoidable no matter much we think we can’t possibly deserve it or that it will never reach us

In this moment you’re hurting and I know what that feels like and I know it’s hard not to give up hope on ever feeling better or being in a better place but I promise you the way you feel right now about yourself and about what you deserve isn’t set in stone and it will not last forever as endless as it seems

Right now I want you, my angel, to focus on finding the moments in your day to day or in your week that feel good and that feel like love and moments you’re able to see somethint good in yourself or something about yourself you can tolerate and think ok that’s not so bad that is something about me that’s nice because the hard part is getting your brain to let go of it’s reflex to hate yourself and think love is out of your reach, it’s a process and I’m in that process right now too and I know I really do how hard it is

But if you can find something to hang onto through it, it makes getting to that end point just a little easier and that something can be anything, it doesn’t need to be this big thing or idea for your future it can be something you saw that made you feel good out of the cloud you’re feeling rn

You mentioned your age as well and I also want to remind you and everyone that part of the reason we feel this way is because we’re also so pressured to not be alone and to be in a relationship and to have everything figured out by the time we’re your age or even younger or else we’re washed up and it’s too late and it’ll never happen or there’s something wrong with us

That’s a lie we’ve been sold since very early on in our childhood and I understand why you feel the way you feel but I want you to know that in terms of life you’re literally jusT beginning things and it’s ok if things are a mess, it’s ok if you haven’t found love yet because first off love is all around us and second, love doesn’t work on a schedule, it comes when it comes and it doesn’t adhere to the timeframe society says we need to be married or in love by or have xyz done and this pertains to sex or experience in anything really

In the grand scheme of things 25 is what I like to call still in the baby stage of life. You’re still in the cocoon phase essentially and we all are in different ways

You’re just trying to navigate the world and your place in it and it’s incredibly mean to yourself and harmful to yourself to continue to verbally abuse yourself for where you are in your life right now when you are just trying your best my love, you’re doing what you can with a thousand pressures and obstacles mounted on your shoulders and I don’t want you to keep adding to that by calling yourself disgusting

I do the same thing to myself too and I know it’s hard not to, again it’s a reflex your mind jumps to but I promise you these things can be undone and unraveled and made better and if you can, I’d recommend trying to speak with someone about it who can work at it with you cause that may help a lot!

Your path in life is so vast and right now you’re not able to see it but you have no idea how loved you are and can’t even imagine the heaps of love you will receive as you keep growing as a person

You’re not disgusting or unworthy of love or friendship because you’re a wonderful person and I don’t need to know you to know that either, your heart is hurting but these things don’t detract from the beauty and personality and perspectives that are you and already there 🥺💓💓💓

Idk if this was comforting or helpful at all, I feel the same way in my low points, very worthless as a person so I feel like this may not be the best comfort I can give but know you’re not alone and that I understand exactly what it’s like and am here for you and you have so many friends and lovers and people who care for you past present and future, I love you!